Everything Exams

In the last few years, I’ve been on a bit of a mission to find out what makes children happy. My own childhood was slightly devoid of happiness, which might be the reason for my obsession, but somehow I grew up to be strong, resilient and fairly contented with life. I continue to try my best to help my own children and the students I work with become resilient, happy young adults and have come across lots of great tips on how to help them do this on my journey through the latest research in this area. The subject of gratitude kept cropping up.

Increasingly, people are coming round to the idea that being grateful for acts of kindness we are on the receiving end of or wonderful experiences and opportunities we are given, can have powerful effects on our wellbeing. As parents, the physical and emotional health of our children is at the centre of our hearts and the future happiness of our children means so much. Modern life is so chaotic and our daily lives so complex that sometimes we forget to talk with our children about small life lessons which could make a big difference to them in the long run. One of those human experiences, rarely mentioned, involves noticing, evaluating, acknowledging and appreciating something great in our lives – gratitude – and the easiest time for people to develop a habit of seeing things in this way is in childhood.

Incredibly, a feeling of gratitude can have a real, measurable effect on our children’s physical and emotional well-being and uplift their sense of happiness – there’s extensive scientific research to prove it.

Whilst looking at many research reports related to the happiness of children, I’ve come across some interesting work which has been carried out in this field of study.

Research Into Gratitude

Research began in adults in the 1930s, but the wide range of benefits resulting from the emotion of gratitude were not discovered or fully appreciated until this century. In one early study, two groups of college students took part in a ten week exercise – one group had to write down a list of things they were grateful for each week and the other group, a list of hassles. Students in the grateful group benefitted from improved mental health – they felt happier, had more positive emotions, were more optimistic about life, had better social skills and even exercised more. They also experienced less physical illness or symptoms than the group asked to focus on their hassles. Other studies have found that people actively being grateful can lessen their pain, reduce materialism and that sharing their gratitude directly with another individual can enhance all these beneficial effects. Children studied also experienced an increase in their levels of satisfaction with life in school on top of the many benefits in common with adults.

Children don’t always appreciate when someone is intentionally carrying out an act of kindness towards them. In studies with young people, teaching them to spot things to be grateful for and also educating them about the cost to someone else of carrying out an act of kindness was a necessary part of the study process. 

Actions We Can Take

To benefit from the power of gratitude, it is important to carry out positive actions on a regular basis as part of family life, which keep this strength in the forefront of your child’s mind. There are various options for achieving this.

Encouraging your child to write in a gratitude journal on a daily basis would be fantastic but I do understand how busy we are as parents and this might be too much to include in an already complicated schedule. There are other options though. How about establishing a routine where each person in the family takes turns to say one thing they are grateful for that day over dinner, at bedtime or on the way to school? Family activities such as these help build strong relationships within your family. Alternatively, your child could use a wipeable board or laminated sheet, hung on their wall, to write down three things they are grateful for each week, filling it in on a Friday evening after school when there is a bit more time perhaps. Whatever you decide to do, building a place for gratitude in your family routines is a wonderful gift you can give to your child – and to yourself. 

The potential rewards and psychological well-being gained from nurturing gratitude in children would seem to outweigh the small amount of time and activity level regularly needed to invest in this. Maybe try it for a few weeks and see what you think? In my own personal research study, I’ve found this works for adults too 😉